29 Comments
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Wendy Varley's avatar

Hahaha! Spot on, Georgina. Did the miracle minnow manifest itself a new tank after all that? You’ve got to start somewhere.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

It manifested itself a clean tank and a few fish flakes. Nephew is petitioning for more fish, but I suspect the miracle minnow will only destroy them to continue its miraculous reign!

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Wendy Varley's avatar

Perhaps it will manifest itself tank-cleaner fish!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Hee hee! Need to work out how to monetise the minnow!

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Emily Sinagra's avatar

This is hysterical (as per usual) and oh so WISE. I love the ride it takes us on, through Tik-tok/internet/time leaps/fish tanks, crab think- truly a manifestation miracle! Delicious satire on the manifestation industry - said she who just signed up for another 250 euro "How-to course" Hahaha

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha thank you! Well, look, I believe in magic and witchcraft, obviously. But there are a lot of grifters out there so don't get rinsed :)

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Dean The Sated Ire's avatar

You could call yourself the Fairy Codmother!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Omg I WISH I had thought of that!!!

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Lynda E. Rucker's avatar

Ooh ooh I too have a miracle minnow/self-help guru story! Sometime in the 1960s, my dad and older brother returned from fishing. They released the remaining minnows in the creek down the hill from what is now my house. There, the minnows flourished for decades until sometime in the new century, when the creek allegedly dried up, per the report of my nieces and nephew. Well, as of a few years ago, the creek is no longer dry, and the minnows continue to flourish. So: you can go from being fish bait to spawning a multigenerational dynasty, surviving even a stretch in a dried-up creek bed--if the minnows can do it, anyone can! Where's my TED talk?

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Let's co-author a book, The Minnow Miracle: how a tiny fish can make a big difference. We can get chatgpt to write the actual words. Money, baby!

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Lynda E. Rucker's avatar

😆😆💲

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Rachel Landrum Crumble's avatar

I love the unvarnished truth you tell.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thank you, Rachel!

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Francis F's avatar

🤣🤣🤣 made me laugh as always 🙌🙌

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Yay! Thanks Francis 🧡

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Jacqueline Fretwell's avatar

Loved reading this, it made me smile 😊

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thank you! That makes me happy to hear 😊🦀

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Sara's avatar

Haha this is exactly the type of self help advice I appreciate. I guess the crab is the ultimate manifestor of houses given it has a shell.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

I never even thought of that! I'm realising that I probably wouldn't make a very good self-help guru after all… 🦀

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Mary's avatar

Funny piece. 👏👏👏👏👏 I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but crabs are arthropods not molluscs. Sorry 😞

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Hahaha oh nooo! This is yet another reason why I can't be a self-help guru! Maybe an arthropod influencer would be a better choice. Thanks so much for pointing this out 🧡

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Mary's avatar

Arthropod whisperer?

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

They'll probably still be upset about the time I called them molluscs!

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Steve Vernon's avatar

That's the problem, isn't it? Even a licensed mollusk-manifester has to deal with the inevitable crab clause in the contract.

(groan...)

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha oh ouch! Well that's why there are so many unlicensed mollusc manifesters out there, I guess.

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Steve Vernon's avatar

Ah yes. They made a movie out of that, didn't they?

Rebel without a claws!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

I keep thinking of crab puns but maybe better to keep them to myshellf

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Ragged Clown's avatar

Now I want to be a self-help guru! Where can I get advice?

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

I can give you all the advice you need! But it will cost you 50p. At least!

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