58 Comments
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Saxxon Creative's avatar

Exactly.

No one wants the truth.

They want the want.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

They also want the Jaffa Cakes

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Saxxon Creative's avatar

go eat jaffa cakes

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Lewis Holmes's avatar

It's a cake and I will duel you on the matter, window-gazer.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha well legally you are correct, as a tribunal decreed it to be so. But practically, it assumes the mode of a biscuit. And I am, above all, a pragmatist!

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Jason Frowley PhD's avatar

This is excellent! I'd say that I see a lot of myself in it, too, except that that would sound awfully hubristic after saying it was excellent. Still, you know what I mean. I wish I'd said it, too, and may do before long.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks Jason! It would be good if someone else said it, too. Might help me work out what I mean! 😂

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Jonathan Wood's avatar

And the most knobby of writers are now going for the gluten free Jaffa cakes that are twice the price, I reckon. I can just picture them chewing on one and telling themselves the bland, cardboard taste is worth the lesser feeling of self-loathing of eating a calorie bomb proper one.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

You may be onto something there ;)

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Sarah Myles's avatar

What if I write a story about stair-vacuum-avoidance due to a heroic quest to prove the Jaffa reality, once and for all? 🤔😁

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Sounds like something you'd do! 😂

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Sarah Myles's avatar

🤣

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Dan Cushnie's avatar

If you can't make it as a full-time writer, something's gone very wrong.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

I expect the thing that's gone very wrong is me. Usually is. 😎

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Dan Cushnie's avatar

You probably said what you were thinking to someone who isn't used to people doing that.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Yup. I probably said what I was thinking and it wasn't what I was supposed to be thinking.

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Gillian Richmond's avatar

Great piece of non-writing Georgina. Please don’t stop!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks so much, Gillian! :)

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Francis F's avatar

A Jaffa biscuit is definitely a biscuit, just a soft one. Made me chuckle, and I cracked up at your photo on the biscuit 🤣🤣🤣

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks Francis! Definitely a biccie!

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Dean The Sated Ire's avatar

"The orange bit in Jaffa Cakes is the collective earwax of the McVitie Family".

I'm of the mind that the storyteller should be lauded, not necessarily the writer. This doesn't mean people who write fiction, necessarily, but those who can create a story in whatever they do.

When I was a teenager, I was told on a few occasions that I was a creative type, this despite the fact that the only thing I did creatively was play guitar, exceptionally badly. I nodded sagely and said nothing because it could lead to being able to touch boobs if I sucked my cheeks in and looked a little tortured, even though I knew it was utter nonsense.

The other thing that should be lauded is people who make me laugh, and you do that unfailingly.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

The orange bit is the only good bit of a Jaffa Cake! I think that generally too many writers forget to take out the boring bits. Storytellers are the ones who know how to keep you interested, and for that, I agree they should be lauded and applauded. And thanks for the kind compliment :)

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Emily Sinagra's avatar

Thank you for this (and all your pieces) I, too, am not a writer. I’m not at all sure what I am, or why I’m on Substack, writing about it. Or not.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Well, you are not alone! Maybe we are the new cool literary movement 😎

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Sara's avatar

I’m interested in the writer-sanctioned hairstyles

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha I have photos...!

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Jack Jackson's avatar

You really had me scared, you stinker. I couldn’t bear it if you never published another story!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

I don't know if I ever will, Jack! But I do have a whole out of print collection so I might put those stories up on here at some point

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Jack Jackson's avatar

I purchased one of your books as a former library edition.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Oh thanks :) I hope it passes muster

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Gareth Roberts's avatar

Fantastic read!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks, Gareth! :)

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Elizabeth Kaye Cook's avatar

Hilarious. Love it!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thank you!

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Margaret Bennett's avatar

It’s all great but the Jaffa graphic takes the biscuit. As do you.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha thank you! :)

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Wendy Varley's avatar

I always greatly look forward to your words, therefore you ARE a writer!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

OR a Jaffa Cake!

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