32 Comments
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Dean The Sated Ire's avatar

Oh I love Finland. I've been trying to move there but the bastards won't let me.

I once had an entire pub in Helsinki sing Chas n Dave's There Ain't No Pleasing You. they didn't look convinced that it was a classic.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha but it is! Helsinki is fab. Not so sure the endless snow/trees/lakes in the rest of the country are enough to keep me out of trouble though!

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Daniel Puzzo's avatar

I read this while I was donating plasma earlier (it's what writers do) and I almost my shit at this line: "presumably she was sick to death of Duolingoed tourists telling her she was a nice wizard every time she stepped out of the house."

The staff came running over to me to see if I was okay, I was convulsing in laughter!

I'm glad the mystery (it was to me) of where the writing retreat was is now solved. For some reason I thought Germany.

As for swearing, I've had Ukrainians and Russians tell me that their languages are far richer for swearing, but what do I know? English can certainly hold its own.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha I'm happy to hear I caused a minor incident 😂 I'm sure the Russians and Ukrainians have good swears but I'm pretty sure ours are the best!

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Daniel Puzzo's avatar

Oops, typo, meant to say I lost my shit!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

I didn't even notice!

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Laura Witherspoon's avatar

I love Finland, I can’t wait to get there one day. I have been following Varpu for a long time and she has a Learn Conversational Finnish course that people swear by, I’ve also made a lot of her recipes. You should check it out!

https://herfinland.teachable.com/p/conversational-finnish1?coupon_code=SHORTCUTMARCH&product_id=6091254

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks - it's a bit late for me but maybe will help someone else!

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Wendy Varley's avatar

Where is the button for Really Laughing at This?! A Heart just doesn't quite do it.

Laughing at the Duolingo vocab, the actual wizard, your wind-up about the butt towel…

And you know what I'm going to ask: Elf Sex Dungeon?! Will that get its own column in due course, Georgina? You can't just toss in an Elf Sex Dungeon reference and not expect us to be curious.

Also: lovely dog drawings. I may well take you up on that offer, as I have a very lovely dog.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha yes the Elf Sex Dungeon deserves its own column! Yes, please do take me up on the pet portrait offer! Would be my privilege. And as a paid subscriber, I'd only ask you to chip in for P&P - the rest of it is on me!

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Anna Kohlweis / Squalloscope's avatar

i did this countryside artist residency in czechia, two weeks of diligent duolingo beforehand, only to then run into the first local on my first walk through the woods, realizing the only things i could say were "bicycle" and "is father eating at home", and i chose to say nothing instead, probably for the better. entirely my fault, should have probably googled how to say "hello" and "good morning", knowing duolingo cannot be trusted with such trivialities.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

It was probably the right thing to say nothing, but how fun would it have been to ask "is father eating at home?" of every random stranger? You could probably film it and then edit it so we see loads of countryside interspersed with many shocked and confused faces. Cut with footage of an old man eating at a wooden table. I may be taking this too far.

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Vicky Heath's avatar

English is hands-down the best language for swears. While living stateside, I very much enjoyed encouraging all my new work mates to drop a hearty 'Wanker!' into the conversation. In return, they just loved my 'BBC' accent (BTW, I hail from Essex). #CulturalExchange

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Brilliant! I love the fact that Americans think I sound posh (I'm from the black country) 🤣 Wanker is such a good swear!

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Faith Liversedge's avatar

"I had visions of couples gazing into one another’s eyes and whispering butt towel before falling into a passionate embrace, and these visions pleased me greatly." I just love the deadpan tone 😂 Thanks for making me laugh Georgina.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks Faith! Glad you enjoyed it!

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Author John G. Dyer's avatar

I remember trying to understand a Welsh gentleman who was, I later learned, speaking to me in English. It was 1962. I was 12. My forebears were Welsh. It didn't help.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Ha! The Welsh accent can be a tricky one. Not as tricky as Glaswegian, mind.

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The Messy Millennial's avatar

Funny!! I'm learning French and I have had some embarrassing mistakes. I am currently writing an article about it and it is to be my first one. Learnng lanagues is cool. Intentionally calling someone a wizard is cooler!!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks! Learning a language is always rife with funny mistakes and miscommunications. Of course, the French don't find it all that funny ;)

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Sara's avatar

I need to hear more about the elf sex dungeon in another post please! Also don’t get me started on Duo the Owl. I’m glad he’s dead now.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Duo is dead? What? How?

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Sara's avatar

Got hit by a Cybertruck

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

I'm confused! Will have to google it!

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Lyndsey Resnick's avatar

I'm going to skip the exotic Finnish and go straight to using the phrase "butt towel" while avoiding Elf Sex Dungeons! This was too much! I don't know how you do it.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha good plan! Glad it entertained you :)

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Lewis Holmes's avatar

Well my day has peaked early! 10/10, no notes.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks Lewis! Appreciate that :)

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Francis F's avatar

😆😆 funny !

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks Francis! 🧡

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Deborah Bell's avatar

This is hilarious.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks Deborah! 🧡

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