52 Comments

It's slightly terrifying how much I relate to this (okay not the beating people with sticks bit but the rest of it, especially "my CV makes me look like a drunk schizophrenic person who’s going to turn up at your business, photocopy my butt, and blow up a few desks before demanding a reference and storming out with half the contents of the stationery cupboard.") It was charming pre-middle age, you know?

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Hahaha! No, it's still charming! I AM CHARMING AND MONEY FLOWS TO ME OKAY

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I was actually just now thinking this. NO GODDAMMIT IT'S STILL CHARMING, we are delightful free spirits

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Exactly!

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Teaching and beating people with sticks used to go hand in hand, but there are laws against it now. Also laws against taking your pants off. Why must all the fun be taken out of everything?

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Haha probably just to thwart me!

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"And put your bloody pants back on." Never! I don't care what the police say.

We've accidentally created an economy that has so few opportunities for talent to thrive that it shouldn't surprise us how utterly staid the culture has become.

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That's really true. Not about your pants. I assume.

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Oh and I bought you a coffee. I didn't add my name and I demand credit for it.

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Thank you so much! I will spend it on... coffee.

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Whatever stimulant takes your fancy.

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I think you'll need to send more money for that

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So I have to buy new pants and fund your cocaine habit? Your next post better be amazing!

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Haha I think we both know that it won't be! Especially after all that cocaine.

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Oh Georgina 🤣😂🤣😂🤣, you had me tickled pink ( or gammon) after a couple of sentences. Skills? You're hilarious take on your "rich tapestry" of work experience. 🙏 Please carry on writing (screen play?), try stand up (I'd buy that for a dollar!) and keep a diary, one day it will keep you. 🤗😘

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Thanks Pamela! I appreciate your faith in me! I can't imagine my diary will be of interest to anyone except people who like descriptions of which part of a person's leg hurts on any particular day, but you never know! 😂

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Ha ha this is brilliant Georgina. I will never be able to rid myself of the boiled hams image next time I'm at a sauna.

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Ha, thanks Faith! And sorry!

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Hilarious, loved this so much !

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Thanks Francis!

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You brightened up my Saturday morning no end. I thank you.

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Thank you! That makes me happy to hear!

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I think the universe wants you to launch the UK sauna scene, culminating in a string of wooden huts running the length of the British Isles - all painted with gorgeous murals, designed by you. Georgie B's Heat Beats. They smell sweat and charred wood, we smell franchise! :D

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I'd love that! But this would involve... skills. And as we've established, I have none!

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Oh, pish posh! ;D You can work a sauna and beat people with foliage. And paint. Everything else is logistics and maths. Other people can do that while you provide the creative genius - which is your other, much sought-after skill. :)

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Thanks Sarah! Just need to find the people willing to work for no money or reward then!

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Yes! That's the only skill needed really - the skill of persuasion. Or bribery. Whichever works best. :D

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So funny, Georgina. Have you tried stand-up? (Not that there's any money in that either, I expect!)

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Thanks Wendy! I did try stand up a few times in my 20s but not sure I've got the stomach for it now!

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Dear Georgina, I'm a fan. I have to warn you that I will be going on an uncomfortable reading spree of all your posts and posting random comments and you're going to wonder who the hell is this person and can she please stop posting a bazillion comments on my articles? Such is B grade fame I suppose :)

-Ash

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Go ahead and post as many comments as you like! Happy for you to be here and thanks for your support 😊

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There's a not-particularly-famous TV writer and actor that wrote in the nuddy, Al Hunter Ashton. Now he's dead, maybe there's a gap in the market for you to fill. PLUS you can set up an OF so I can watch you work - only so I can appreciate your creative process though, you understand. Nothing grubby.

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What's the betting someone much younger and prettier than me is already doing this? Also I need my glasses to write so I wouldn't have my natural advantage.

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this was an excellent write up, as I am unemployed currently, it's relatable , though I haven't resorted to beating naked people yet m I get the analogy.

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Thanks! Wishing you luck in your quest :)

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Thank you

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I straight up love this. See a lot of myself here. Aside from the nudity, obviously. No one needs to see that.

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Well as long as I take my glasses off, there's nothing to see! 😂

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Just another 7 billion pairs of specs for the rest of the world to go then.

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Haha or just one pair for you? My logic is infallible, after all!

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And that's why I don't work in procurement.

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😂

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Georgina, you are one helluva funny gal. The boiled hams mention, sent me over the edge.

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Haha thanks Jim! Shame there's not more money in being hilarious! 😂

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Well, if there was, you’d be swimming in it. Great post.

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🧡

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Oh, this did make me laugh out loud. Good luck!

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Thanks Arabella!

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I love that drawing, George. Did you do it?

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She's an incredible artist. She's going to turn this into a soft sculpture with hand embroidered details. Unbelievable!

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Oops,I didn't read the caption carefully enough! You can be paid to be a nude life model. 🎨

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Yes, I would be keen to do that! I quite enjoyed posing for I-Chi. I need to be near an art school.

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