36 Comments

You’ve done it again you glorious bastard! So many quotable lines I must commit to memory. The (currently rejected) short humour piece I wrote this week was about Elon’s Optimus Robots. I had to deep dive on his worst tweets. Excuse me while I scrub myself with bleach and wire wool.

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Ah this one was tough to get into shape - I almost abandoned it. But it came together at the last minute!

I quite like Elon in a way - great to have an unhinged galactic mega-villain around these parts!

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Well I’m glad you didn’t abandon it 👏

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Me too. Most things work out in the end!

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This is a philosophical hoot, Georgina. Thinking your deceased loved one has popped up as a mouse is a win for rodents. You wouldn’t dare get in pest control. There’d soon be that many mice you’d have no idea which one was your mum.

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But it might work against them, Wendy! We need to make sure there are none left, just in case!

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This reminded me of a line that popped out when leafing through a self-help book years ago, that has roosted in my head ever since: “A hundred years time? All new people.”

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Yep! Good thing to remind yourself about when those Tinder dates don't work out 😉

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Taking the graveyard dating logic to its extreme conclusion, does that mean a first date in Walsall would also be acceptable? Because that's downright terrifying.

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I mean, people in Walsall do date. But perhaps they find a graveyard in Wolverhampton for their first meet up?

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Oh death, 'tis an inexhaustible topic, at least until all of us are dead and gone. On an aside I did put my husband through the mill on our first date. I'd just lost patience with pretence so I asked two pertinent questions: "Do you want to have children?" and "If there was a war, would you join the army?" He did well not to get up and leave. (Also he answered both questions correctly).

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Straight to the point! I think that's probably wise. Well, it worked out for you!

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SEPARATE point but you’re an extremely funny and clever writer; glad someone mentioned you today so I could find your Stack!

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Thank you, Susan! What a lovely comment! 😊

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My most recent first date was at a graveyard, and that wasn’t remotely the weirdest part about it! (As an aside, I think graveyards are chill — what’s chiller than not being alive anymore?). My date’s dad was buried in it, but not in the section we sat in, so I guess that’s cool.

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Will there be a second date? Or was it a grave mistake? (Sorry!)

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One of the things you do so well is mix hilarity - Tinder dates to a graveyard? I simply can NOT - and a wider philosophical thought about something profound. It’s kind of amazing. Yes this is funny essay. But it’s also an essay about a fundamental human truth, how we conceptualize it, and what that says about us. Hot damn. I always look forward to reading your stuff every Friday. It’s appointment reading. Bravo.

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Thank you, Jack - that's an amazing compliment! I'm not sure I always achieve the right balance, but that is definitely what I aim for! I'm actually a very serious person as well as being an extremely silly one 😊 Thanks for reading and supporting my writing!

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Lovely piece, but if I received a magic mushroom enema I’d really want to die.

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Haha well I guess it will have served its purpose then!

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Oooooh, I love a graveyard date, probably because I just love graveyards. I also love the not knowing - it's like the final plot twist in the book of life.

...and I also love this whole post, which is not a plot twist at all, and actually quite predictable. :D

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Thanks Sarah! Glad you enjoyed it! I love a nice ruined graveyard myself 💀

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I've dated enough Goths to know graveyards are really quite dull, as are Goths. The fishnets always got me, though.

I call myself an Atheist, but it's only in response to man made Gods. Most of my beliefs are based on the knowledge that we're all jumped-up Chimpanzees or, as Bill Hicks said, "A virus with shoes".

You never fail to make me laugh!

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A virus with shoes! That's brilliant 🤣 I love a nice ruined Victorian graveyard myself, but then I never completely grew out of my gothic tendencies.

Happy to have made you laugh!

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I still wear too much black and occasionally eye liner. Goths aren’t as “fun” as they used to be.

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It's an identity now, rather than a subculture. I think!

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Yes! Someone explained it to me last year. It’s not about music or literature, it’s an outfit. It’s an era without art I’m afraid, and all about identity.

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Pretty much sums it up!

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There are so many things we can know. This mystery is probably good for us. (Along with a plod through a graveyard to get one's attitude adjusted.) Thank you for a good laugh this morning!

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Definitely feel quite relaxed about not knowing! Just don't think about it tooooo much!

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You nearly owed me an iPhone after I sprayed my coffee! (Actually probably not, they’re waterproof though I’m not sure if that extends to espresso.) Great stuff Georgina, thanks for the literal LOLs.

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Ha, result! Happy to have made you laugh in the face of death 🤣

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As a now-deceased writer would have put it, I’M GLAD YOU FEEL AMUSED BY THE WORK I DO, BUT LAUGHING IN MY FACE SEEMS LIKE BAD MANNERS, AND I HAVE THE LAST LAUGH ANYWAY.

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That's very slightly chilling! 🤣

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I see you have a new hairdo!

Was this inspired by a tinder graveyard date?

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Haha certainly not! Just felt like being more curlified 😊

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