Funny 😆 thank you. Incidentally, my chum just told me about an American Xmas movie he wrote which he freely admitted was utter shite and did for the money. They changed his script (which he says was bad enough) so that rather than the whole of the third act being about these folks who get snowed in - coz they were shooting in England in summer time so no snow and no budget for snow- they woke instead to discover the whole place had been covered in … frost!!!!! They were frosted in. 🤣This film got made, was number three Netflix and my mate bought a house!
lol it reminds me of the awful “cave diving” film that I watched once, which had Penelope Cruz in it, and a number of highly implausible acts of crass stupidity by the male anti-hero, who was a massive douche-nozzle
Also the cover “art” of the forest kebab movie looks like both main characters desperately need to empty their bladders.
My kind of film! Mostly I lean toward trashy horror but this does look like quality trash, especially when you have the potential for enjoying a double bill of those charisma-free wastes of carbon. Yay!
This could have turned into a horror halfway, with Buck revealed as the forest arsonist from outer space, dragging the geologist through a wormhole to his planet of eldritch dread...
Oh my god, this was hilarious. Intentionally so, unlike the film. Creepy kebabs! Footage of a bear in another forest! Forest ranger dynasties! It really has everything you never knew you wanted in a film
The forest kebabs were the funniest thing I have ever seen. It was at that point that I genuinely thought I might die of laughter. I'm laughing now, just thinking about it 🤣
Georgina, this sounds like a real train wreck. Not that I would've watched it anyway but thanks for the heads-up! The "We'll need a fire" line cracked me up. Either Foti is the luckiest writer on earth, or he's got an uncle in showbiz, right? I'm going with the latter, haha. - Jim
Well if you go down the rabbit hole of finding out who made this film and why and who they made it for... it's somewhat enlightening! I'm pretty sure no one except me and my friends has ever watched this film by accident.
Brilliant! I needed to both laugh and feel better about my writing pursuits and you delivered. I may never be published, but I can still feel an air of superiority reading about this film debacle. Thank you!
Oh, no. There’s more? And I say this as someone who just lets the soppy Hallmark Christmas movies run during the Holidays. They are emotional white noise.
I was wondering if this was a spoof film plot, Georgina. But I've now watched the trailer and logged that it has 5.7/10 on IMDb and that the first user review reads: "This movie is awful. Bad acting. Stupid story lines. Trained professionals doing stupid things. Very flat dialogue delivered badly. If there was any chemistry between the leads it was obscured by the bad acting."
So it is real, huh?! Plus, the IMDb trivia note tells me there is a sequel called Christmas In The Wilds! (Now that sounds proper festive.)
It's true! Writing for a profession is an unfathomable business!
Haha it is all true! Me and a couple of friends watched it last week and laughed immoderately through the whole thing. I did wonder if maybe it would be a 'you had to be there' type post, but decided it was so funny that I'd write it anyway, and if only my friends laughed, it would still be worth it!
Oh and tellingly, James Foti did NOT write Christmas in the Wilds. Make of that what you will!
I will not Google "Christian erotica."
I will not Google "Christian erotica"
I will... DAMMIT! 🫣
🤣
Haha! I was rather hoping that's something I just made up. If it's not, I don't want to know about it! Or do I...
😆
So
Funny 😆 thank you. Incidentally, my chum just told me about an American Xmas movie he wrote which he freely admitted was utter shite and did for the money. They changed his script (which he says was bad enough) so that rather than the whole of the third act being about these folks who get snowed in - coz they were shooting in England in summer time so no snow and no budget for snow- they woke instead to discover the whole place had been covered in … frost!!!!! They were frosted in. 🤣This film got made, was number three Netflix and my mate bought a house!
lol it reminds me of the awful “cave diving” film that I watched once, which had Penelope Cruz in it, and a number of highly implausible acts of crass stupidity by the male anti-hero, who was a massive douche-nozzle
Also the cover “art” of the forest kebab movie looks like both main characters desperately need to empty their bladders.
Pretty sure your film was better, simply by virtue of having Penelope Cruz in it! And that expression is their best acting :)
No honestly it was sooooo bad. Penelope Cruz was not allowed to do any acting and died in a ridiculous manner.
Pleasingly though, the annoying protagonist died and the only survivor was the teenage son who didn’t want to go on the expedition in the first place.
Well now I might have to watch it because I refuse to believe it could be worse than Romance in the Wild! It's not possible! 🤣
Issues with the movie:
- Cave diving is extremely dangerous, no way would an experienced cave diver take other people along who were inexperienced or unwilling.
- Everyone was ANGRY and/or sulky all the time
- P Cruz’s character died cos her hair got caught in something 🙄
- At one point they swam into a new cave whose water level appeared to be significantly higher than the cave they had just left
It does sound bad.
Here’s the trailer.
https://youtu.be/OgW7L2uq2VM?feature=shared
Perfection
Another hilarious movie is VAMPIRE DOG. The best acting was provided by the dog.
But the whole thing was so cheesy that it was adorable.
Ah well Forest Kebabs can't even claim the 'so bad it's good' label! It's just really, really bad.
It does sound really and truly terrible (same applies to the stupid cave diving movie which was distributed in movie theatres)
Thanks to you I’ve discovered dove.org and this useful Google search term for finding films I want to watch - https://www.google.com/search?q=%22not+approved%22+site%3Adove.org
Hahaha oh you're very welcome!
Apparently there are more films in this franchise?? Staggering.
Only one more. So far! I might try and write another. "Alien Death Cult in the Wilds" maybe?
Would watch.
It's Canadian made, naturally. Oh, the shame, the shame.
Be proud! It's a unique piece of work! 🤣
My kind of film! Mostly I lean toward trashy horror but this does look like quality trash, especially when you have the potential for enjoying a double bill of those charisma-free wastes of carbon. Yay!
This could have turned into a horror halfway, with Buck revealed as the forest arsonist from outer space, dragging the geologist through a wormhole to his planet of eldritch dread...
That I would almost certainly watch.
Same! Maybe I should write it ;)
Oh my god, this was hilarious. Intentionally so, unlike the film. Creepy kebabs! Footage of a bear in another forest! Forest ranger dynasties! It really has everything you never knew you wanted in a film
The forest kebabs were the funniest thing I have ever seen. It was at that point that I genuinely thought I might die of laughter. I'm laughing now, just thinking about it 🤣
I nearly died laughing reading about them!
So funny! James Foti is a legend 🤣
Georgina, this sounds like a real train wreck. Not that I would've watched it anyway but thanks for the heads-up! The "We'll need a fire" line cracked me up. Either Foti is the luckiest writer on earth, or he's got an uncle in showbiz, right? I'm going with the latter, haha. - Jim
Well if you go down the rabbit hole of finding out who made this film and why and who they made it for... it's somewhat enlightening! I'm pretty sure no one except me and my friends has ever watched this film by accident.
Adding to the long list
Dread to think what else is on that list...
Do a podcast where I occasionally delve into the world of terrible movies, it's not pretty
Ah well, hit me up if you need a guest 🤣
Definitely will
It still sounds better than most superhero movies. I was quite gripped and will have to watch it now.
Okay but whatever you do, do not watch it without the aid of some mind-altering substance or behaviour, such as a two week long silent retreat first.
It also sounds rather erotic. I’ll need to brace my loins.
You really, really won't!
Brilliant! I needed to both laugh and feel better about my writing pursuits and you delivered. I may never be published, but I can still feel an air of superiority reading about this film debacle. Thank you!
Haha yes! James Foti is an unsurpassed legend!
I am in awe. Of what, I’m not certain.
That's exactly how I felt, watching this film. I may have to watch the sequel now, for my Christmas post...
Oh, no. There’s more? And I say this as someone who just lets the soppy Hallmark Christmas movies run during the Holidays. They are emotional white noise.
There's a sequel called Christmas in the Wilds. But James Foti did not write it, so I can't vouch for its quality...
Thanks for the laughs, George! ❤️
Thanks for laughing, Maura! 🧡
I was wondering if this was a spoof film plot, Georgina. But I've now watched the trailer and logged that it has 5.7/10 on IMDb and that the first user review reads: "This movie is awful. Bad acting. Stupid story lines. Trained professionals doing stupid things. Very flat dialogue delivered badly. If there was any chemistry between the leads it was obscured by the bad acting."
So it is real, huh?! Plus, the IMDb trivia note tells me there is a sequel called Christmas In The Wilds! (Now that sounds proper festive.)
It's true! Writing for a profession is an unfathomable business!
Haha it is all true! Me and a couple of friends watched it last week and laughed immoderately through the whole thing. I did wonder if maybe it would be a 'you had to be there' type post, but decided it was so funny that I'd write it anyway, and if only my friends laughed, it would still be worth it!
Oh and tellingly, James Foti did NOT write Christmas in the Wilds. Make of that what you will!