30 Comments

So funny. I was thinking how delightfully Dahlesque this was, just before you admitted to channeling Roald Dahl. And yes, nine-year old boys and their TED talks! Sometimes my son's conversations with me are still like that, and he's 23. Boy, can he enthuse about painting Warhammer models. But he is a rounded individual, honest.

Well done on sticking up for your nephew, even if the other lad didn't hear you. It's the thought that counts.

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Thank you, Wendy! Haha yes, he has his obsessions 😅

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I was having the very same "very wonderfully Dahlesque" experience as well!

It was only a few years ago that I realized I finally feel like an adult when I am around children as opposed to basically the same age as them, not sure what this says about me, probably nothing good.

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It says you're monstrous and hilarious? I think that fits ;)

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Fantastic Georgina. I have four nephews all grown up and my daughter is 14 so this is very relatable.

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Thanks Margaret! I have several nephews and nieces, too. And 14 is a great age for chatty kids!

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lol 😂 captivating juvenile monster 👺

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Haha I felt a bit evil writing that!

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As the oldest daughter with three brothers I relate to never having been a 13 yr old cool girl.

This post made me laugh out loud a few times. Kudos

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Thanks, Sam!

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Oh I feel you on the teenage thing! My eldest is 9 so we haven’t reached that stage yet, but teenage girls scare the hell outta me. They can be so mean. I was 🤣

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Yeah I wasn't the kindest or sweetest! But the teenage girls I know are really lovely so maybe you'll be okay? If not, it's great material for your substack!

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So funny Georgina. This is definitely something I would do!

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Thanks Faith! So glad I'm not alone!

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"I knew I had an inner monster that in the right conditions was capable of anything – torture, murder, dirty looks."

One of your very best Georgina. Loved it!

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Thank you! I'm so pleased you liked it :)

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The glue sniffing question was pure class and I approve!

I’m at my most awkward when saying goodbye, I always add something odd.

All the cool kids end up in prison or single mothers at the age of 16. It’s far better to be an awkward outcast.

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Right? I do that too. It's almost like everything went too well. I have to fuck it up at the end 😅

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Hahaha, exactly! “See you, take care.. byeeee…. I’m going to buy some cheese”.

Then I never get a second date

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Haha exactly!

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Excellent. This made me laugh during a break from marking undergraduate essays. Tough audience but a very appreciative one!

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Awesome! I'm glad to give you a laugh at my social ineptitude!

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🤣 Brilliant piece. It almost made me miss doing the school run. Almost. 😁

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Haha thanks Sarah! Almost, but not quite 😅

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Yeah, the social rules of teenage girls, didn't get them either, or that they were even there. Now I've watched my two daughters not getting them either and know that it's actually good thing, all-in-all healthier to be not cool than "cool". But glue sniffing 😂😂😂

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Haha I really embarrassed myself there!

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Lovely stuff Georgina. Beastly is a very underrated word and I'm jealous of your beastly status; I'm known to all my nieces and nephews as 'fun' Uncle Lew. Or Uncle Poo, if they really want to bring me down to their level. It rather undermines all the effort I put into being a cool elder emo.

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Thanks Lewis! I'm sure your nieces and nephews think you're super cool 😎

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Georgina— you may or may not have been cool as a kid— but you’ve got being cool down pat now!

Have to say— not quite sure how The Distractionist made its way into/onto my Substack— the sense of gratitude toward the Universe I feel is immense

Thank YOU Georgina for all your work— just seeing a new post makes me smile

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Thank you, Dave! You're very kind. And cool! 😎

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