30 Comments
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Wendy Varley's avatar

So funny. I was thinking how delightfully Dahlesque this was, just before you admitted to channeling Roald Dahl. And yes, nine-year old boys and their TED talks! Sometimes my son's conversations with me are still like that, and he's 23. Boy, can he enthuse about painting Warhammer models. But he is a rounded individual, honest.

Well done on sticking up for your nephew, even if the other lad didn't hear you. It's the thought that counts.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thank you, Wendy! Haha yes, he has his obsessions 😅

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Lynda E. Rucker's avatar

I was having the very same "very wonderfully Dahlesque" experience as well!

It was only a few years ago that I realized I finally feel like an adult when I am around children as opposed to basically the same age as them, not sure what this says about me, probably nothing good.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

It says you're monstrous and hilarious? I think that fits ;)

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Margaret Bennett's avatar

Fantastic Georgina. I have four nephews all grown up and my daughter is 14 so this is very relatable.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks Margaret! I have several nephews and nieces, too. And 14 is a great age for chatty kids!

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

lol 😂 captivating juvenile monster 👺

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha I felt a bit evil writing that!

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Sam Messersmith's avatar

As the oldest daughter with three brothers I relate to never having been a 13 yr old cool girl.

This post made me laugh out loud a few times. Kudos

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks, Sam!

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Sara's avatar

Oh I feel you on the teenage thing! My eldest is 9 so we haven’t reached that stage yet, but teenage girls scare the hell outta me. They can be so mean. I was 🤣

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Yeah I wasn't the kindest or sweetest! But the teenage girls I know are really lovely so maybe you'll be okay? If not, it's great material for your substack!

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Faith Liversedge's avatar

So funny Georgina. This is definitely something I would do!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks Faith! So glad I'm not alone!

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Abruptly Biff's avatar

"I knew I had an inner monster that in the right conditions was capable of anything – torture, murder, dirty looks."

One of your very best Georgina. Loved it!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thank you! I'm so pleased you liked it :)

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Dean The Sated Ire's avatar

The glue sniffing question was pure class and I approve!

I’m at my most awkward when saying goodbye, I always add something odd.

All the cool kids end up in prison or single mothers at the age of 16. It’s far better to be an awkward outcast.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Right? I do that too. It's almost like everything went too well. I have to fuck it up at the end 😅

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Dean The Sated Ire's avatar

Hahaha, exactly! “See you, take care.. byeeee…. I’m going to buy some cheese”.

Then I never get a second date

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha exactly!

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Jason Frowley PhD's avatar

Excellent. This made me laugh during a break from marking undergraduate essays. Tough audience but a very appreciative one!

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Awesome! I'm glad to give you a laugh at my social ineptitude!

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Sarah Myles's avatar

🤣 Brilliant piece. It almost made me miss doing the school run. Almost. 😁

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha thanks Sarah! Almost, but not quite 😅

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Lisa Fransson's avatar

Yeah, the social rules of teenage girls, didn't get them either, or that they were even there. Now I've watched my two daughters not getting them either and know that it's actually good thing, all-in-all healthier to be not cool than "cool". But glue sniffing 😂😂😂

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Haha I really embarrassed myself there!

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Lewis Holmes's avatar

Lovely stuff Georgina. Beastly is a very underrated word and I'm jealous of your beastly status; I'm known to all my nieces and nephews as 'fun' Uncle Lew. Or Uncle Poo, if they really want to bring me down to their level. It rather undermines all the effort I put into being a cool elder emo.

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thanks Lewis! I'm sure your nieces and nephews think you're super cool 😎

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Dave F's avatar

Georgina— you may or may not have been cool as a kid— but you’ve got being cool down pat now!

Have to say— not quite sure how The Distractionist made its way into/onto my Substack— the sense of gratitude toward the Universe I feel is immense

Thank YOU Georgina for all your work— just seeing a new post makes me smile

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Georgina Bruce's avatar

Thank you, Dave! You're very kind. And cool! 😎

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